Blog entry

Fucking Nondual Fundamentalist Buddhism

Song Of The Day: What God Has Done Is Rightly Done / Bach (Cantata 99) as performed by Christopher Parkening
Word Of The Day: Eesome / Attractive or gratifying to the eye

I'll tell you what's attractive or gratifying to the eye; Two 'e's at the beginning of a word. That's eelicious. I'm eerect.

I know Christopher Parkening is faggy, but his fagacity turns me on. I wanna suck his cock. Music doesn't get much faggier than that piece -What God Has Done Is Rightly Done- and man does it make me hungry for a gentlemen's member. Please, take me now, in the pew. Thump me like a bible, Cardinal. Oh, you know it's happened. They don't call them "indulgences" for nothign. Listening to What God Has Done Is Rightly Done you can practically see adolescent acolytes with stiff boners leaping and bounding across golden meadows, their hairless ball sacks knocking morning dew off of wheat sprigs as they endeavor to cleave each other's ends over and again. Oh, gentle young men.

Speaking of religion. Why Buddhism? Why am I Buddhist. It's so obvious. First, the obvious. Buddhism is right, all other religions are wrong. Just kidding. All other religion's are sort of like a Buddhist harem, they wait around in silken garb to lower grapes into our Buddhist mouths. Just kidding.

I'm Buddhist because of emptiness. First of all, I believe in all religions. That's what I have in common with all religions. But I do not believe my beliefs. That's where I part ways with all religions. I actually don't think Buddhism (in its authentic formless form) is a religion. Or a philosophy. It's a simple imperative. Want to wake up? Do this. The reason I'm Buddhist is #1, I don't believe my beliefs. That is to say, I regard beliefs as useful, as relevant, as germain to the work-play of the Mystery while I'm in human form, but let's face it, beliefs are constructs. They're the fluxing content of social swells in humans. They have a beginning, and they will have an end. They're predicated on some fundamentally flawed assumptions (duality, for starters. To believe in something, you have to assume there is a subject and an object, a person believing and a thing believed in.) They're appropriate features of developmental waves, but they have no intrinsic reality. They only exist because we sustain them. They're part of our stories, our dear precious fucking desperate stories. Drama Drama Drama. But in experience, that is experience without filters, without assumptions, we realize that Reality has no opposite. Reality has no opposite. Once more, for Maezumi: Reality has no opposite. What is there to "believe" in? There is. There's plenty to believe in. But don't make the fatal, outrageous, ridiculous mistake of believing your beliefs. They're just transient, impermanent features of an ever-fluxing IS that has nothing but What to show for itself. And that's just how it's not. Gotta love it.

And so, what can I tell you? #2, I'm Buddhist because it's my experience it's all empty. Emptiness. God is empty, the Devil is empty. Cars are emptiness, sex is empty, fullness is empty. Emptiness is fullness, and so WAHHHHHHZUPPP?????? I don't really "believe" in Buddhist teachings. Fuck beliefs. I hate to say it, but fuck beliefs. No, wait, I was wrong, I actually love saying that. In fact, Butt-fuck beliefs. Yes, sodomize all beliefs in the name of What. Let's face it, all religion is just Ego sucking its own dick, medicating its own paralyzing fear of demise through a charade, an anthropomorphic circus of delusion so perverse it would make Marquis De Sade blush.

Beliefs are for conventional robots and pre conventional anal pears. Religion -the religion of beliefs- is the vestigial organ of life on Earth. No one -NO ONE- will be seen in a "church" where people "worship" in ten thousand years. No one. It will be as relevent as the stone flint axe, and I am not fucking kidding.

Now, I know that's not an integral to say. It's not post-conventionally correct to make such outlandish, devisive statements. An integral view is one that includes (and transcends) all perspectives, all developmental levels, all states and stages of religious experiences, all varieties of the ever-manifesting miracle of God. I'm all for that. But an integral perspective doesn't mean an endlessly tolerant, pathologically patient, utterly permeable, flaccid fucking wet noodle of a dick approach to religion. You know what? Mythic Imperialistic Religion -the kind we are experiencing RIGHT FUCKING NOW IN AMERICA, the kind that 70% of the World's population is under the sway of in manifold variety- THAT developmental level of interpretation of "God" was appropriate, perfectly appropriate TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO. When the fucking Roman Empire held sway, and humas were just getting the hang of order, rules, doctrine, and a mythic conception of divine right. The FUCKING ENLIGHTENMENT WAS THREE HUNDRED YEARS AGO. I'm not rational emperical maniac but GOD DAMMIT. I mean literally, if there is a Mythic God, please damn these regressive fucking monkeys into hell. Mythic religion, while wonderful and appropriate for a girl scout, or a boy scout, or a lemur, or a baby elephant, or a remedial dolphin, is the Auto Immune disorder of our collective soul.

Listen, when your kid is ten years old (which by the way, is about the age when a Mythic Rules-Order stage of development is appropriate in an individual, not when they're fucking fifty, or sixty, and not when they're the God Damn president of the fucking United States Of Imperialist America) ahem. When you're kid is ten years old you WANT them to act like a ten year old. You WANT them to access the World view, the lens of reality that is healthy, whole, and right for that stage. When you're ten, LITERALLY when you're ten years old you need to get your Mythic Rules-Order jones on, you need that mojo to be healthy and cool before you can move into the next (more inclusive, more expansive) level of development. But HEY, if you're ten, and you're locked in a Mythic Reality, cool. If you're fifteen and you're locked in a Mythic conception of reality, not so hot. If you're twent, if you're twenty five, thirty, forty, and you're still locked in a MYTHIC conception of reality, and you now can fire nuclear missiles, and scramble bombers, and ruin economies, not to mention fucking PROCREATE and imprison other innocents in your deluded retardation (I mean that, clinically you are retarded) then that is a SERIOUS fucking liability to the rest of the planet.

And ladies and gentlement, it is not appropriate. It is not right for grown ups to act like ten year olds. It's not healthy for ten year olds to act like two year olds. There is a lot of room for variance, but some things are just down right fucked up beyond all measure and I will tell you what one of them is: Living on a planet held hostage, bullied, persecuted, and paralyzed by a Mythic World view that should have faded from power in the court of humans when the Roman Empire did. I understand fully that each human being recapitulates development, that no one skips stages. Don't you see that's MY FUCKING POINT. We are collectively absolutely retarded. We have never summoned the escape velocity necessary to move beyond this pre-pubescent stage of our humanity, much less our religious life, and it makes me want to hurl.

One of these putrid days, I am going to develop humanity's first case of tri-kaya bulimia. That's right. I'm going to simultaneously puke out my gross, subtle, and causal bodies.

If the Over-soul had access to a Kosmic throat, it would fucking wretch its brains out, watching the bi-peds on Earth. It's like a planetary version of The Nanny that never gets past the first ten minutes when the kids are still complete little assholes, tantrum throwing monsters ravaging their luxurious, privileged lives. Every fucking loser Mythic Imperialist religious idiot is just another monkey throwing feces.

Now how long are we supposed to sit back and "Understand" while ten year olds run the planet, while adolescents ideology in grown up bodies with Techno-industrial weaponry rape and ravage this miraculous planet? I don't get it. FUCK THAT. Call a spade a spade. The first fucking thing conventional and preconventional stages of development do with democracy is vote in undemocratic, theocratic regimes. Nice. Hamas. Nice. President fucking "God is on my side" Bush. Nice. What are we? Nine? Ten fucking years old? I am so, SO sick of this shit, and you should be too. These arrested adolescents are pissing all over the altar. Does any one else think it's time the post-modernists move beyond their pluralistic bullshit, their flat relativistic all-inclusive liberal kamakazee suicide? Uh, nothing's at stake ... 'cept civilization.

Let's not kid ourselves. We are a BLIP. An experiment, even on the temporal scale of this planet. (not to mention the Kosmos). The planet is not in jeapordy, WE are. Check the record, you'll see we haven't been around long, and we are definitely, certainly disposable. Evolution will come up with other fun things to do if keep shitting in our own bed. Mythic Religion is total fucking bullshit, it's time has passed, it is not developmentally appropriate for anyone over the age of ten anymore, and every day we permit it to continue its terrorizing tantrum is another shit sandwich in the mouth of Love. In the name of Love, let's stop believing our beliefs. I'm NOT talking about nihilism. I'm talking about a rich, vibrant, dynamic, direct experience of What IS. That's all there is anyway, everything else is a phantom puppet show. That's why I'm a Buddhist. A fucking nondual fundamentalist Buddhist.

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