Song Of The Day: U.B. Jesus / David Byrne
Word Of The Day: Hamartophobia / Fear of sin or sinning

People the World over confuse the Dutch with the Danish. Do you know which is which? I didn't, for years when I was a kid it fucked with my head. I thought I was a freak, an international dyslexic. Then I noticed, steadily over years and decades, that virtually all Americans are confused about the Dutch and the Danish. They may as well be the Olsen Twins to us. People just fucking don't have a clue where the Dutch and Danish keep their respective roots. It seems to our American ears for some inexplicable reason, that "Dutch" should go with "Denmark." When confronted with the following options: Dutch Danish Holland Denmark Netherlands, we link those two (Dutch+Denmark) as the most probable pairing. Confounding us further, The Netherlands is also Holland. Even though we call ourselves America and the United States (to everyone else in the World America is a continent, not a country, but oh well) we get confused. We only know the U.K. has something to do with Britain and England because we went to war with them and then the Beatles, yadda yadda. I was on tour in Holland (The Netherlands) and that's how I found Copenhagen.

But let's get this straight
for once and for all,
the Dutch are from Denmark
and thus, Danes are called...
NO!
The DANES are...
the Danes are not Dutchis.
There is not a suchis!
For easy remembrance,
simply recall
Den Haag's not in Den Maark
it lies to the South, so embark,
Copenhagen is never
inside of dear Nether
lands
it's rather in Northernlands
and Denmark is the Holland of Danes,
but not much for Dutch,
who are North-East of Great Spain
(just like the Danes)
the level of Sea,
the Dutch are below
right next to the Sea,
the Danes live and grow
the Dutch have great shores
and ports for their ships
the Danes do as well,
and both favor trips
if still you fail
telling great Dutch from Danes
then make love to each
and divine from the stains
a Dutchman will poke you
and smoke you
like hash
but a Viking will plunder
and punish
and pillage
your ass
and your face
'till they burn
like a village
Lastly,
nations are known
by the flags they have sewn
rectangle, bespeckled
with zigs or with zags
guess from the two
taking your pick
which one is that , which one is this
then you'll know which
one to wave, which one to stitch
on your pants when you hitch,
hike or bike
through Pakistan.