Blog entry


song of the day: pop life / prince
word of the day: dizygotic / Of twins: derived from two separate ova, and so not identical

secrets. goddamnit, you are breaking me down. you are BREAKING me down... i'm gonna talk. you look at me like that, i'm gonna talk...three secrets today. more to follow, depending...

1, 32 Flavors is the only Ani DiFranco song i like now. but wait, that's not all. it's the only Ani Difranco song i've EVER liked. i know, i know, Ani is so socially this, and she's does all that for Buffalo, New York, and she never wastes water cuz she doesn't bathe, and she's a yadda yadda. i still hate the way she hyper-ventilates her way through every lyric like some asphyxiating Shih-Tzu trapped in a Yugo on a hot summer day. i wish an oxygen mask would drop in front of her face and someone would shoot some dope in her jugular. a phrase doesn't become any more compelling to me just because you use 13 breaths to deliver 14 phonemes.

2, I shot J.R.

3, Elimidate is my favorite TV show. i hardly ever watch TV, but when i do, you better believe i'm looking for Elimidate. if i tune in and they've already eliminated a person or two, i get pissy and the ache of that absence will haunt me all day. when it comes to Elimidate, i wanna tune in right at the TOP of the show and savor every moment of posturing, affectation, and desperate maneuvering. this is one show i don't fuck around with- no flipping through the channels during commercials, no getting up to take a piss or grab a diet coke. i stay where i belong, rapt in the expectant promise of another segment, my sole focus is readiness, being fully alert when the magic flickers out the box. what's the best thing about this show? almost invariably, the person all the prospective candidates are competing for is a repugnant LOSER. how do they pick who gets to be the "prize" on these episodes? the Darwin awards? i am gripped by that particular feature of the premise, watching four people spiral to the lowest common denominator on national tv only to be rewarded with some one-on-one time with some stuffed diaper of a human being. along that line, i guess what i really, really live for with this show is the fact that sometimes, on rare occasions, you actually get a contestant who is a confident, bright person, and in the middle of the show, they flatly announce to the pompous ass they are supposed to be chasing down "you know what? you are a fucking LOSER, and i quit. these other chicks can have you..." and then they walk off camera. i LIVE FOR THAT MOMENT!! and you know what? it's always a GIRL who does it. guys will forfeit a lifetime of self respect and social standing for an outside shot at a blow job. but women, on occasion, will exhibit authenticity and dignity. i wish- I WISH- like 5 million women would wake up tomorrow with that much integrity and hope, and simply turn to the slovenly, self-engrossed repository of bile they've devoted themselves to and go "GOODBYE, shit head." without any further explanation or ceremony, just VROOOOOOOOM off into the future. wooo hooooo. of course, i can never be on Elimidate, i'm happily married, but if i could, in the first scene of the show, the FIRST scene, where every one walks up and introduces themselves, i would walk up and just go "this is beneath me..." and wheel around and leave. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and you know what else? i would SKIP out of the camera shot. i would SKIP like a gay sprite all the way into the event horizon...

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We were blown away by Stuart’s pure genius. Finally a songwriter with something to say. We booked him on the show, calls started coming in “Who was that? Who was that you had on World Cafe?”

-Bruce Warren of WXPN/ World Cafe