Blog entry

F-O-L is such ull crap. uck you, F-O-L. uck you vry much

song of the day: part of the plan / dan folgelberg
word of the day: Folia / A wild dance of Portuguese orign.

here's the weird thing about Dan Folgelberg's name. if you look up the section of the dictionary that has the words that most closely resembles his name (like, where would you put 'Folgelberg' in the dictionary), you discover that he would be put right in between 'folding' and 'folia'. are you thinking what i'm thinking? yeah, it's #!@% WEIRD alright, there are NO WORDS in English which begin with F-O-L-E, and also ZERO WORDS that begin with F-O-L-F and also ALSO ZERO words in English that begin with F-O-L-G. wha? huh? that shit is twisted. WHY ON EARTH WOULD THAT BE? WHYYYYY? can you imagine all the cool F'in' words we could have with those letters? we could have words like:

Folemid: a brown ring left around any human orifice, except the anal opening (e.g., a childs lips after eating brownies, the human ear canal after listening to a mud puddle, the nose after snorting heroine, and so on.)

Folebraie: a late 13th century saint who lived in Wales, said to have hidden, transcribed, and preserved segments of the Gnostic gospels, including portions of Q and the Gospel of Mary.

Folekrutz: a critical choice point, especially one with life-long ramifications

Folee: a (now extinct) raptor of the Andes Mountains, with yellow and black diamond marking around the eyes

Folepoi: a wild or fanciful conception, a chimera, an illusion self-constructed from grasping, clutching, or foolish desire.

Foleelof: (coll.) the soft, down belly feathers of the (now extinct) Folee raptor, used as a comfortable lining in the bras and underwear of the Kwakepoo tribe of the Andes Mountains, purportedly resulting in the extinction of the bird in the late 20th Century.

GAWD they'd be fucking awesome WORDS! that's just the tip of the iceberg. what of the promising F-O-L-F to English words?

Folfhuhaab: (slang) An undescended testicle in Viking tribes of Denmark, regarded as a designation of divinity in males.

Folfrijjy: A nutrient-rich taffy made from brown sugar and seal blubber, prepared by fisherman while at sea as a dietary supplement.

Folfooszia: Social upheaval precipitated by rigged elections.

Folfmopria: A rare syndrome which renders its subjects incapable of making trivial domestic decisions, such as selecting items at grocery stores (should we get six lemons, or five lemons?), or household fixtures: (do you like the brown tile, or the lighter brown tile?).

Folfaudis: The state experienced after excarnation, before incarnation. Interim period between lifetimes in which the soul either recognizes itself as the clear, immutable Light, or successively 'bounces down' into the next lifetime in a corporeal realm.

and G, why no G? why is there yet another kick ass letter not being used subsequent to the F-O-L prefix is BEYOND me. conspiracy? yes, i'm glad you bring it up.
think about it:

Folgrun: An order of plants found in Bavaria, more generally the Bavarian flora (from the early Germanic term for spring time, lit. "full green")

Folghibit: The sound produced by miniature ponies trotting on cobblestone.

Folgfrinquizlle: A question which can only be answered or resolved through trans-rational apprehension; A Koan.

Folglad: From the Norwegian 'Folegladun', the right of passage whereby an adolescent boy first acheives an erection.

Folgsaupippy: The ritual sacrifice of puppies by vivisection, practiced by adherents of Scientology.

Folgrabmitits: Good balance; ability to stabilize the body in difficult or disorienting circumstances, esp involving nudity and lubricants.

Folfockmiface: An expression of disbelief or surprise; 2, An invitation of genital / oral congress

it goes on and on. pregnant with possibility, these three letters remain untouched by the prefix F-O-L, and it makes me SICK. uck you, F-O-L-, uck you very much, you snobby, elitist, fancy pants showboat who thinks its too good for these other letters. you don't like "F"? well have 'un trying to have -UN', you uck head. i hope you ry in ell, uck ace. you too good for 'e' and 'g'? do you mind telling me how you'll have sx with irls? maybe you should talk to od about making up some new lttrs, you snobby snob pic of ull crap. how's that sound? hav un in your prfct alphat with 23 lttrs. pff!

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