Blog entry

EEG on me

song of the day: christmas in capetown / randy newman
word of the day: M18 [Fr., f. DIABLE] diablerie / 1. dealings with the devil; sorcery, witchcraft (fig. mischevious fun, devilment.) M18. 2. the mythology or lore of devils; a description or representation of devils. E19 3. The realm of devils. M19.

well, i'm back to working out. son of a burning pulled ripped muscle tendon cartilege thing. yesterday i went back to the old routine: 100 crunches, 200 crunches (100 for each side) on my knees (they're a different kind, hard to explain), 200 leg presses, 100 curls, 100 reverse curls. i don't know the technical names for these things, but they all induce pain and suffering, they all register a full 10 on the suck-omoter, but even so, it is a million times better than yoga. have i mentioned i hate yoga? GAWD. my friend tripp has a shirt that says "fuck yoga". right on. i concur. i'll lift weights and do crunchie crunch stuff for the rest of my life, but i'll only do yoga if i have to. and sometimes you do, because as things often go with life, yoga also happens to be the single most effective practice for many of the most important physical issues. for instance, all the stuff that goes with me being a musician and travelling a lot (tendonitis, cramps, arthritis, posture issues, spinal alignment issues) is without a doubt, most effectively dispatched through yoga. i have had the shitty opportunity to confirm this through direct experience. simply drinking water (which i don't care for either- give me coffee and diet coke, and fried rice, and i live happily forever) in recommended amounts and doing 20 minutes of yoga a day pretty much wipes out anything if you catch it early and respond in a timely fashion. of course yoga occurs in Dog Space-Time, and you need to factor that in (20x7=140 minutes of torture for your soul).

the other thing that's a drag about working out is it so undeniably WORKS. forget yoga, but just working out 30-40 minutes a day significantly improves my mental, emotional, and spiritual states. i have more energy, more patience, more focus in my attention. how am i supposed to make excuses to get out of this when it's this effective? some suck wads have backed me even further into the corner by conducting studies- mmmSCIIII-EHHHHHH-NTIFIC studies, which show that people who work out with a physical regimine advance through the stages of meditation faster, have more "success" in their contemplative practice. armed with EEG machines, these smarmy fuckers can prove it, they stick this star wars shit to your skull, and they literally track your brain wave states with a stunning degree of accuracy. back in the day, you could tell someone, "check this shit out, i'm having a satori..." and they might go..."whao..." but now, you try frontin' a Delta and they'd be like "ugh, dude, you are SO Beta right now. whatevuhhhh...". they hook meditators up to these EEGs and study their brain wave patterns in association with types of meditation. a general review of brain wave states:

Beta: think Crispen Glover on blow. well, that's bad beta. beta waves occur between 13 and 30 cycles per second, and they are associated with wakeful state, this is our high mental activity, intense concentration, analyzing / organizing information (hitler loved beta), these waves are also associated with stress in a big way. it's safe to say that beta waves have shot through the stratosphere on earth since the industrial revolution. or the enlightenment. or maybe it was the invention of the wheel...fire? agh...

Alpha: think bjork in the video It's Oh So Quiet. alpha is 8-13 cycles per second, and it's all about creativity, relaxation, and the effortless but very alert quality of awareness that eludes so many of our world leaders. you get your alpha groove on, and you'll notice your immune system can kick the shit out of any virus or bacteria you throw its way, alpha makes your immunity into a serious Aikido MASTER. micro-biotic life forms come lungin' at your shit, but the Alpha-Aikido master is all like "hooowAH!" and "Fff-wang-DAH!!!" and "SOO-RAH!". and BAM! those bugs are rendered undone, but WAIT, this is aikido, so the master disables each aggressor without harming them, as this is the martial art of awakened awareness and compassion, you unenlightened fuckers (*talking to the viruses there...*). alhpa is also big time on the peak performance thing, so that's another aikido factor. peak performance like martial arts, not peak performance like stocks and bonds. not that i know shit about either...

Theta: ah, my old friend theta. i get a boner just not thinking about it. theta is Rebecca DeMornay after some tantric naughtiness with Leonard Cohen. theta, she's a molasses vein, a remote comet, cycling only 4-8 times per second- which explains Leonard Cohen's tempos. theta is associated with dreaming states, meditative states involving visualization / imaging- like, say tonglen. theta will stuff you so full of calmness and an expansive sense of well-being, you're gonna document a significant corresponding decrease in depression, blood pressure, sleep disorders, headaches / migraines, and a big ole' boost in creativity and immunity. (are creativity and immunity a couple? i mean, why are we seeing them everywhere together? i think they're doing it, like they're probably having a four-way with DeMornay and Cohen)

Delta: i think the word "Delta" comes from classical Latin, roughly translating "um, you're dead." very roughly. delta is Ramana Maharshi winking at you from the event horizon of a black hole. delta makes theta look like it's wigged out on speed. delta is 1-4 cycles per second. what's zero cycles per second? a casket. delta is the deepest shit ever. this is stage 4 of sleep, when there are no other brain waves present...hello? (oh....oh........oh ............oh) anybody here?... (ere......ere...............ere................ere). you NEED delta. if you don't get delta, you look like THIS. and wouldn't you know it, delta is also associated with deep meditation.

except there's a kicker. when you go to sleep and hit delta, that's it- it's just delta, no other brain waves present. BUT when scientists hook up advanced meditators to EEG machines and ask them to go into Delta, they are able to do so and have the other waves (Alpha, Theta) remain active, or not. in fact, advanced meditatorscan self-induce Delta, Beta, Alpha, Theta, and can keep their Delta jiggy while they bring the others in and out as well.

now, remember, the map is not the territory. every person goes through the basic Waking, Dreaming, and Deep Dreamless Sleep "states" every day. if you don't, you turn into a socio path or a rock musician. but it's automatic- it's a pre-given gift of life we often forget to be thankful for. the difference with an advanced meditation practioner is that they are able to maintain what is known as "constant consciousness" through all states, without exception, and this is considered stabillized Witnessing. permanent stabilization of the Witness is a big deal. you get a pony, a lap dance from Kali, a flying carpet, but you sure as shit don't need one, cuz by that time you can fucking LEVITATE !!!!!!!!!! oh yeah, didn't i mention that meditators can manuever their zabutans and zafus like a hover craft...although that capacity has not been as rigorously documented by emperical data as the brain wave stuff. it's hard to hook up equipment to a cushion approaching the speed of light.

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