song of the day: sledgehammer / peter gabriel
word of the day: love / ~?~

another ideal audience last night in duluth. full house, the crowd is centered, focused, warm. i think part of it may be that it's a sunday night, and the weather is perfect for introspection- the entire city is ensconced in a cloud of fog, its cold and drizzling, which is easily my favorite weather of all kinds. it's so beautiful outside everything looks like an impressionistic painting, and the air is crisp and moist- makes me want to inhale the whole sky... so we have the best weather, crowd, the venue is one of my favorites in the mid west. after some initial sound system problems, things get kickin'. i still can't tell if people like Rape Game without the band, and i opened with it. at some points in my first set it's a bit hard to "read" where to go in terms of the songs i'm choosing, cuz the crowd is so still and quiet, but eventually we hit a g-spot of sorts when i do a cover song (touch myself, divinyls). highlights of the night for me are What, IS, Anesthesia, Sugar Bullets, and Elizabeth Ascends. i suddenly like the song elizabeth ascends again- a lot- don't know why. i'm going to put it on an album... vid's dharma talk in the middle of the show starts off with the best opening yet of the tour. when he gets on stage, he asks if we can adjust one of the lights on stage, and someone from the crowd yells "that's not Zen!" (implying that Vid's showing a preference of some kind is not "enlightened") then someone else from the crowd yells "that IS Zen", then Vid says "Zen isn't always so important." which, for some reason is exactly the right thing. i burst out laughing, it's really about his awareness in how he says it- it totally put a dead stop to things, but it was a very warm, bright energy he said it with. and i LOVE hearing someone start a Zen dharma talk with "Zen isn't always so important". questions from the audience eventually go toward paranormal stuff, and Vid speaks eloquently about how even if we have psychic capacities emerge, even if we could levitate, astral project- there is still suffering, we still have the same basic situation we did before in terms of the human condition- and so we shouldn't seek (or avoid) paranormal or 'supernatural' capacities, but should be fully, completely present with what is. i love the talk. for me, this is so right on, and also has to do with so much of the ecstatic state-chasing that can go on for we spiritual seekers. 99% of the work in the Mystery goes on after the honey-moon, and is the ordinary every day challenge of our humanity, of transmuting our shit, of being in the trenches with Love and not checking out or moving on to something else when the work of Love becomes boring, unsatisfying, painful, anonymous, etc etc. Vid keeps coming back to a theme this week, that what is personally gratifying is not ultimately satisfying (not his exact words) and what is ultimately satisfying is not necessarily personally gratifying. amen. today we're on our way to ames. i ate a little bit better yesterday, had some fried rice and chow mein at a pseudo-real chinese restaurant. vid and i had dinner with Justin. justin is now studying to be a yoga teacher. i know he'll be awesome at it.