Song of the Day: Save It For Later / English Beat
Word of the Day: Korophilia / Being attracted to young men or boys
(This blog is part of an ongoing series in which part of me -let's call it "I"- dialogues with other parts of me through something known as Big Mind Process. This blog is merely a public journal of some of my work with Big Mind, and is not intended as an instruction or teaching. For more information on Big Mind, see Genpo Roshi).
Facilitator: Thank you Great Doubt. I would now like to speak to another voice. Um, I'm a little wary of asking, but may I please speak with the Pervert?
(Stuart's body posture shifts; legs splay, pelvis opens, back slouches in chair a bit, arms hang at side, coy grin rises from one corner of the mouth, eyes squint slightly)
Facilitator: Who am I speaking with?
Pervert: The best fuck of your life.
F: OK. Would that be the Pervert?
P: Indeed.
F: Tell me about yourself. What's it like to be the Pervert?
P: How about I just show you?
F: I'd prefer you just speak about it.
P: You mean you like oral.
F: Whatever. What's it like to be the pervert?
P:
A carnival of carnivores,
the mallow marsh of human smores
on jungle trips
through knotted hair and swollen lips
cleaving trunks of shaking trees
playful Adam
lifting leaves till Garden's bloom denuded Eve
In spit,
in shit,
or where she bleeds,
each spasm sews a million seeds.
F: Hey, Dr. Seuss called, he wants his words back.
P: I'll try to bring it down to your level. I know poetry hurts your head.
F: As the pervert, what's your job?
P: Well it's not just about sex. Although I love to fuck. But in that regard I'm more of a "fuck plus" phenomenon.
F: What's fuck plus?
P: Well, anyone can fuck. I'm fuck +. For instance, instead another night of missionary, how about missionary in public venue, say a movie theater, or an amusement park, or your neighbor's unlocked vehicle? Instead of a basic blow job, perhaps a blow job with gagging and puking? Could I interest you in a face full of cum? Would you mind choking me with your right hand while you pleasure me with your left? Don't forget to spit on my face when I quote The Gospel Of Mary -like you promised! Let's get your friend and her camera. Hand job + house pets. Glass dildos + bay windows. Windmills + wheatfields. Rape game, anyone?
F: Got it. You're a sex freak.
P: Yes and no. I'm often mis-identified, and actually I'd like to set the distorted record straight here: I am the PERVERT. I'm not the Sex Offender, nor the Pedophile, nor the Abuser, nor the Molestor. Those are all pathological, shadow-entities. My work and play, when it involves other people, is consensual and mutual, and this is the critical distinction that the slow-witted are unable to make: Although I may pretend many things for the sake of fun and exploration, my pretending is a device I control, not a vice that controls me. I can drop it or pick it up when I need to. I love role-playing, imagination, and breaking convention. I am the healthy, fearless drive that crosses lines, fucks with taboos. I am a physiological-sociological-emotional-psychological-spiritual exuberance that is drawn toward that which is forbidden or repressed. If there is an aversion in a person or group of people, I am magnetized toward whatever that is, if a human being disowns an aspect, I become compelled to bring it forward, out of the dark and into the red light... district.
If you're a homophobe I'm some guy who wants to suck your cock. If you're a puritanical task-master I want to put a collar around your stiff neck and bathe you in warm piss. But if you're some hippy slut shrooming her brains out while banging three dudes in the back of the tattoo tent at Burning Man, I'd love nothing more than to see your rancid ass cleansed, blessed, and re-dressed in nun's garb, kneeling reverently before the Pope. That would turn me on, because that hippy bullshit is just pre-conventional, self indulgent masturbation masquerading as post-conventional non-conformity. And that's ice in Love's underwear. The pre-conventional / post-conventional shell game is as old as the human condition. Every unkempt, malodorous counter-culture freak who's gone camping and taken acid thinks he's John The Baptist (post conventional), and the fact is, they're not. As the pervert, what turns me on in such cases is sticking such drug-addled, pre-conventional cases right into a CONVENTIONAL bed. As the great philosopher and honorary Pervert Ken Wilber has illustrated so succinctly, just because you're UN-conventional doesn't mean you're POST-conventional, OK?
But, perhaps what is most narrow in people's conception of me is their strict affiliation of "pervert" with "sexual". Sexuality is just the first step on my inverted pyramid, bitch. The very etymology of the word "PER-VERSION". PER, as in "through" and "VERSION", as in another instance, alteration, or variety. A pervert, in the true sense, is one who is a master of engineering new versions of something, imagining and creating novelty wherever stasis has set in. Therefore what is an aphrodisiac in the largest sense-for the genitals, for the whole body, mind, emotions, spirit, culture, biosphere, and God- simply DEPENDS. It depends upon what, what, where, when, and how. Evolution is the aphrodisiac, and so arousal depends upon the set of circumstances. But if you think the pervert is merely some amalgam of base impulses from your reptilian brain stem, then you really need to get fucked up the ass by the Messianic suitor who's causal heart is always cracked wide open, you trapped fuck.
But allow us to pause here and note that while I, the pervert, operate according to a flexible system of ethical values (flexible because they are formulated spontaneously in reflection of the level of the being I am engaged with) -as I said, I'm not the Sex Offender, I'm not the Pedophile, not the Rapist. The same cannot be said of God. God does not make such sparing distinctions. Godhead operates according to no ethical system and abides no moral strictures. So even the Pervert is more ethical than God. Ethics are a dimension of inter-subjectivity. And while God is entirely present at all levels, lines, types, states, and stages, It is not reducible to any of them. So, for the record, the Pervert is more ethical than God.
F: So the Pervert is not sick? How do you get that? Isn't part of the definition of perversion that it's twisted or sick?
P: That depends upon who's diagnosis we're using. There's a great deal of disorientation in the human condition. If you're sick, then often what's healthy seems sick, and what's sick seems healthy. If your shadow is a contorted bundle of fear and guilt, you're liable to perceive straight lines as curves, and curves as straight lines. By way of example, this is how fear-mongers with ill motives (literally, they are ill, and operating in a spiritual fever-state) manage to hijack and sabotage great spiritual teachings. It's paradoxical equation that's been in play for tens of thousands of years: A great spiritual figure arrives on the scene, and through authentic per-version insight (a through-moving innovation), heralds an expression of the Immutable Truth which is expertly suited to that time, those people, and the prevailing atmosphere in his life. This teacher, let's say Jesus Christ, is a fully realized being, an Awakened One who has stabilized their center at the Point Of All Places, and lives only to free other beings in the same way. That is, to simply demonstrate for them that they are already free, and encourage them to discover this first hand, for themselves. But alas, people, at any time in history, at any location on the planet, are only capable of interpreting an insight from whatever LEVEL of development they are at. If you are five years old, you understand your experiences and the World as a five year old does, and that is appropriate. Of course people's development is a much more subtle affair than that, we have many faculties; Intellect, emotion, language, spirituality, kinesthetics, spatial, and on and on. Each of these kinds of capacity develop somewhat independently. You could be fairly advanced spiritually in terms of your insight, but not very advanced morally, or inter-subjectively, etc. If Jesus Christ comes to your town and provides a living example and teaching on how to enter the Kingdom (the highest degree of spiritual development, advanced post-conventional), but you happen to be stuck in a conventional or even pre-conventional World View, you're just going to interpret Christ's teachings from wherever your center of gravity is. This is how profound teachings become diluted and distorted. When someone like Jesus Christ provides an Infinite Presence, the recipient is afforded two options:
#1, Develop their essential Self to become that same Infinite Simplicity, or
#2, Compress and parse the teaching (that Reality) into manageable bits which the present level of development can metabolize.
Option number one involves a perfect correspondence, and no dilution of the living Reality. Option number two, depending on the level of development it's dumbed down to, involves a great deal of distortion, violence, and corruption to those teachings and that living Reality. It's inevitable this would occur, and it's precisely what happened with the Gospels and the teachings of Christ, Buddha, Mohammed, the Torah, and virtually any true insight or awakening we care to sight.
My point is simple: There is healthy Perversion, which we might translate as "through novel invention", and pathological Perversion, which I would translate as variations of #2 in the examples above.
F: Very interesting. At this point, I would like to ask to speak to another voice.
Pervert: OK.
F: Can I speak to the voice of
