Song Of The Day: I Like Big Tits / Joe Walsh
Word Of The Day: Lypophrenia (n.) - A vague feeling of sadness, seemingly without cause

Hello Beauties!

Well, this isn't a dream journal, but what the hell, I'll give you one more because it made me laugh. Last night I dreamed I was sitting at home with my ROBOT slave/girlfriend, a sex-droid of sorts, and I was breaking the news to her that I was going to have to return her. The biotic faux-flesh material used to form her skin and musculature was starting to come apart, a portion of her face was falling off a little bit, and her nipple on one breast was deteriorating. She was still about a 9.5 on the Hot Scale. I broke the news to her,

"Honey, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to return you. You're beginning to degenerate."

"That's OK! Hee hee hee!"

We got up and began to walk toward the door, and as we made our way it turned into a long hallway. The hallway kept going and going (House Of Leaves, anyone?), and I was walking behind her. Her ass was fantastic. I was like

"You have such an awesome ass."

"Thank you!! Hee Hee."

"God, it's awesome (*slap*)."

"Thank you!"

"Can I fuck you in the ass?"

"Of COURSE you can!"

So, we pull down her pants, and I commence penetrating this robot in the rectum. I think to myself:

"Defective or not, this robot is totally happening in the caboose".

We get about 30 seconds into it when I look up and observe that to my right is a female friend of mine -someone I respect- looking at me with an expression of pitying disappoinment on her face. Shaking her head like:

"Oh, Stuart...(sigh)".

But I look right back at her with electric defiance in my eyes:

"Fuck that, I'm not going to be ashamed. You're not going to make me feel embarrassed either, and you are not going to ruin this awesome anal robot sex for me. Deal with it."

I continue, undeterred. Until I make the mistake of looking to my LEFT. Now I notice the entire (seemingly endless) wall on my left side is made of glass, and what's on the other side? A library. A library full of stunned people, people transfrixed by this spectacle of sodomy and incredible feminine technology. It's somehow a double taboo, their faces convey a multiplied perplexity that says:

"Oh my God. He's BUTT-fucking her. Wait...she's ... that's a ROBOT."

Then, I notice that not only is the entire library auditing my every thrust, but the head librarian is charging out the door, both of her arms stiffly extended in order to underline her exasperated shock and rage. She comes at me in a trot, gritting her teeth and re-stiffening her arms, two prehensile exclamation points flaring five fingers in flashing punctuation as she lays into me:

"EXCUSE ME, but don't you THINK there might be a better PLACE and TIME to engage in your outrageously OFFENSIVE and LEWD display of..."

"FUCK YOU!" I interrupt her.

"SIR, you DISGUST ME, this is a PUBLIC PLACE OF..."

"NO! NO! NO!" I scream back at her

"I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU ARRESTED! YOU ARE GOING..."

She's livid, a white-hot fury. I begin to back down the hallway, the droid still gyrating on my throbbing baton. She/It has responded to the tracasserie ideally, fluidly modifying her position on my erection to facilitate our mobility in what is now an escape. Madly defensive, I match the librarian's stentorian force and yell back in retreat:

"NO! fuck YOU, you disgust ME, this is MY ROBOT, and YOU ARE NOT GONNA RUIN THIS FOR ME, THIS IS MY ROBOT AND YOU WILL NOT SABOTAGE THIS AWESOME ANAL SEX FOR ME, THIS ISSSSSS MYYYY ROOOOOBOHHHHHHHT!!!!"

and then I woke up.

I think I'm gonna need to call Steven Spielberg to figure this one out.