song of the day: things have changed / bob dylan
word of the day: afrit (means "exit" in dutch, i was wrong about the word "uit", it means "out". hee hee oops).
you guys i'm sorry i haven't written every day, but i think you can understand, when you're travelling all over radio free holland in a Hummer Limousine Stretch, with playboy bunnies for chaufers, and i line a coke so far up your nose it activates childhood memories, it's pretty hard to be worried about the petty concerns of your friends and loved ones around the world. you hear me? i am on TOUR IN HOLLAND, BITCH, and this shit is, to quote one of my own songs (good morning, ego...): "pretty woman meets clock work orange...". sure, hash is legal here, go ask a cop where you can buy some good hash, and they will literally TELL you where to go buy good hash. wha? altered states not good enough for your deviant soul? how about a financial transaction involving a strangers vagina and your mucoid DNA? well, hey, it's your time, buddy- shine on. the only problem with holland is figuring out how to get INTO jail. without guns readily available, you're pretty much gonna have to run someone over to land in the slammer. even then, when you're as famous as i am in the netherlands, dip-lo-mat-ic IMMUNITY. so...anus ways...
in reality, what's going on with this tour? lots of insomnia, i'll tell you that much. and lots of really kick ass people. we left deventer (my bodhisattva travel guides Rinus and Desiree with me) and were off to Amersfoort, one of the most beautiful cities ever. water, water everywhere, canals, beautiful boats, cobblestone roads where only bikes and peds can go. this second show was not quite as quiet and focused as the first, the audience was comprised of half listeners and half drinkers. still a good evening. we actually counted 75 people at the first show, and about 75 at this one too. the difference is in Deventer they were dead silent and steady attentive. after amersfoort, christina, michael (my friends from germany) went back to our hotel, and i almost slept for three hours. that is to say, there was a period of three hours where i almost fell asleep. next day, we walked around the idyllic streets of amersfoort, sang Ben Folds songs together (good morning son...i am a bird...) and had great amazing lovely conversation. it really was a memorable awesome day of seeing dear people i adore. we ate adorable food in an adorable cafe'. mmmm.. then off to anhem for a show at the kultuirhuis or however you say it, and that venue fucking rocked! that audience rocked. you cannot, you simply can-not ask for a better collection of people. there were practitioners from all over europe at this one, belgium, germany, remote parts of holland, and the vibe in the room was perfect. it was the smallest audience yet, probably 25 people, but i give that show a ten. aside from a lot of string breaking, and a sound man who really, really had to be convinced that i wanted my guitar louder (this is a cross-cultural fact: sound engineers running the board are apparently physically incapable of executing the SIMPLEST request from an artist- 'what, he wants his guitar louder? no, he doesn't. the only THINKS he wants his guitar louder. what i'll do is turn it up for a second, and then as soon as he starts singing, i'll turn it back down again, and i'll repeat this until a hemorrhage forms in the frontal lobe of his brain'. note to sound engineers everywhere: JUST DO WHAT THE ARTIST ASKS. the dials on the sound board are meant to be SET, and then left alone. it is not a canvas for you to express your personal creative preference, it is a piece of equipment which is an extension of the artists instrument. anyway, finally the sound dude (who other than this point seemed like a totally wonderful human being) complied, after i literally made the same request six or seven times. the rest of the evening was really a treasure. after that gig, we drove all the way back to...well, wherever we went, and the next day i had a show at the American Cafe in Goes (pronounced HOOS, i think) at 4pm in the afternoon. guess who couldn't fall asleep? me, it's me!! i couldn't fall asleep!! i sat up in bed doing zazen for about three hours, then tried laying down again and got a big fat zero from my body. no help at all. i've been meditating a lot this week- instead of sleeping. strangely this seems to work just fine, i haven't felt really sleepy or tired, but i keep thinking i'll become exhuasted. did the show in the afternoon at the american cafe, which had american flags everywhere (cue music: theme from Twilight Zone)and pictures of marilyn monroe and james dean and also a big, broken plastic statue of liberty. how apt. no pictures of president bush though. at this show, some major, major sound system issues which nearly rendered the entire audience deaf on several occasions as the sound man tried to get the monitors to work, and they were apparently wired directly to the center of the Earth. holy unholy sound batman. the whole room, instantly incontinent. after that gig, we drove off to my second gig that day, which was that night, which was in den haag. i played confusion, and it was a really small place, totally kick ass people, they listened so quietly! when i walked in i thought it would be a loud, smoky, kinda biker-bar. but the audience was dialed in, and they 'dropped' as we say. got done about 1am. have sold quite a few CDs this week, it looks like i'll run out, maybe before the last show. i'm meeting so many incredible people, from all kinds of traditions and locations. a woman named estrid brought tibetan prayer flags and a beautiful note to the show for my family, thank you! my next show is in amsterdam on wednesday, i now have two days off, which i'm going to spend hanging out in the city (haven't actually been in amsterdam yet on this tour) and chatting with my new friends from australia and holland. didn't sleep again last night. like, no exaggeration, i literally laid awake for five hours doing various mediations (tonglen mixed with some 'touch the penis' excersice, a bit more tonglen} nothing resembling sleep came my way. finally i fucking sat up at nine and ADMITTED that i am not a sleeper. i read a bunch of a dr. phil book after that, my wife has assigned it to me, and yes, i am going to complete it. dr. phil. oh, dr. phil. what would he say about Doppelganger Body Donar? what would he make of Rape Game? Windmills and Wheatfields? Ani I Adore? Uncle Seth's False Gospel? Inventions? Penguins? matters not. god has spoken to me personally, and god said: "stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....dr phil is the sum of nil...".
