Song of the Day: Figment / Michael Penn
Word Of The Day: Nomic / Customary or conventional

You gurhlz, I checked, and New Zealands is not (yet) a province of Australia.

But gurhlz, I checked and I know a really good way we can fuck with New Zealands.

Guhrlz, this would be revenge for New Zealands stealing Crowded House from Australia.

Alright guhrlz, here's what we do to New Zealands, but we have to do it En Masse, we have to build a great, steady resolve, and maintain our technigue, we have to sustain our tack, do not relent as time goes by, BECAUSE you guhrlz...

This could make all New Zealands fucking INSANE in the MEMBRANE. Bump my fist, bitches, let's swear on it. Cross your causal heart, crackers, let's seal this shit.

Step one: Us guhrlz always refer to New Zealands in the incorrect, fictional plural form. See? New ZealandS. Put that 'S' on the end EVERY time, and watch it drive them fucking Crowded House stealers NUTS! New Zealands will be a province of Australia known for its clinically devolved populace of lunatics. For years, those Crowded House-nappers will try to correct us with their Kiwi obsession over syntax.

"You're from New Zealands? I've never been. I would love to go to New Zealands some day."

"It's New Zealand, see? No 'S'."

"New Zealandzzz?"

"New ZEE-LAND. Full stop, right? See? Full stop, no 'S' It's a singular referent to a collective, a nation state, see? Like AmeriCA. You don't say AmeriCAS, of course, do you? Or AustraliAS. They're singluar inclusive nouns."

"America. Australia."

"Yes."

"New Zealands."

"No."

Which leads me to Step Two:

Always refer to any individual resident of New Zealands as "A New Zealands". YOU HAVE TO HAVE the singular "A" in front of it, or it won't deliver optimum effect. You guhrlz, we can change the morphology of phonetic structure if we set our heart to it. PLUS, always assume New Zealands is part of the Australian Empire. See? Try it.

"Are you a New Zealands?"

"What?"

"A New Zealands. You're from Auckland, right?"

"I'm a New Zealander, yes. I'm from New Zealand."

"What is it like to be a New Zealands, to struggle for independence from the Australian Empire?"

"We're not... it's New ZeaLAND. Singular. It's a proper name. Like New England. And there's no such thing as an Australian Empire."

"Right. Not if you New Zealands freedom fighters have anything to say about it. A New Zealands doesn't have the same rights as the citizens of the Aussie Kingdom. That's UNjustice on New Zee.."

"We're not citizens OF AUSTRALIA."

"I know. You're slaves. Proud slaves. But HEY. Why'd New Zealands kidnap the Crowded House? Maybe Australia would give you full rights of citizenship if the New Zealands gave back the Crowded House to the Sydney Opera House."