Song Of The Day: I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea / Elvis Costello
Word Of The Day: Balbutient / Stammering

Bitches, I love you. It is so lovely out today. I am nuts for this weather, cold, damp, foggy. Reminds me of Denmark in 1204 when we set the boats to water, and...

People often ask me: Stuart, do you want to be buried, or cremated?

As I've said many times before, why choose? Like my Viking ancestors I will be ensconced in a hand made casket, cast adrift on a wooden boat (set ablaze), lighting the midnight horizon as it incinerates my inanimate corpse. Please fulfill my last will and testament according to every detail: Recover the ashes from what's left of the burnt vessel, gather them into an aliminum pie crust (add mixture of urine I've set aside for this final occasion), and then -and this is essential- locate Tom Cruz and throw my remains in his face.