Song Of The Day: Headlock / Imogen Heap
Word Of The Day: Babag / Argument or fight
Hot Fucking News Flash: Auto Immune Disorders All The Rage This Season.
Auto immune disorders have finally assumed pole-position in the race for trendiest malady. The Davis' were quoted late yesterday as saying
"We're ahead of the curve, as usual. We were auto-immune before it was cool. Now everybody wants their antibodies addled, but you know what? Whatever. Auto immune disorders are like lazy eyes, it's only cool to have one if you don't want one, that's why we're cool. All these poseurs tryin' to get all auto immune 'n split now, it's just like ...pff. Whatever."
It's true my wife came home from the doctor yesterday, and announced she has an auto immune disorder now too. If you're keeping track, that's now three of us, 1, my friend Ken has REDD 2, I have Alopecia, and 3, my wife just found out she has this one, Sjogren's Syndrome. What the fuck? Have you wondered why it's suddenly all the rage for a person's immune system to attack their own body? I did, until, reviewing my data, I realized
Auto Immunity is a side effect of Enlightenment. Of course. First Ken, then me, now Marci? That's exactly the sequence in which we respectively became permanently stabilized in Nondual Consciousness. We were all sitting around the barbie-Q one day, grilling some Auto Immune Soylent Green Sausages, and Ken took a bite of one and was like,
"Dude, that's weird. Taste this, does this taste weird to you?"
And I took a bite, and Ihhzz like "uh, that doesn't taste weird, that tastes fucking RAW dude, it ain't DONE."
and Marci was like
"You're full of shit, Stuart, you're trying to hoard the A.I.S.G. Sausages, and that ain't gonna fly!"
and she took like a HUGE bite, and puked a martian hue of bile, and we were all three, like
"Oh my God, that is raw, uncooked Soylent Green Auto Immune yuckiness!"
and just then my neighbor stuck his head over the fence, and he was like
"Uh, you guys, Soylent Green Auto Immune Sausages are made of enlightened PEOPLE"
and we all screamed AHGHHHHHHHHHHH. And in that triumvirate scream, we realized utterly and without limit, the simple suchness of our Whatness. ( So shove it up your buttness).
Auto Immunity? Sure. We got it. All three of us. Small price to pay for a trans-temporal pass to the Infinite Bazaar of Who I really R. K?
What a relief to get to the bottom of this, to know there's no need to seek further explanation. Like, clinical explanation. I am so fucking sick of (unenlightened) doctors prattling on about cells, and blood, and THIS bacteria and THAT virus. You know what doctors call disease? MONEY. Every affliction is another pyramid scheme, I think fucking Amway invented convalescence. Doctors are addicted to the drug of healing, which can only occur in the stream of time, which is a mother fucking ILLUSION. Wake up, doctors of the world, so bent on fighting auto immunity, you're fighting you're own awakening, nothing more.
Hey, I think I just converted.
Auto immunity is one thing, and one thing only: Sweet Freedom. Total, unencumbered Mind is frying the circuitry of my body, end of the story. There's nothing that can be done. Do I seem blase'?
I would be more excited about this revolutionary medical discovery, but it's not my first. Ironically, even though I'm Dr. Dean Edel's nemesis, I have made innumerable medical discoveries in my tenure as a rat in the Lab of God. My first and most alarming discovery was that doctor's are mortal. One spear through the throat, and they're dead as disco. Repeatedly repeated research confirmed this -thanks to me- now indisputable fact. A correlate insight was that doctor's -once speared through the throat- cannot be revived. Once dead, their body parts (minus throat) might as well be fed to cattle, or ...if... if there was only some other productive use for precious human anatomy, especially vital organs. But there isn't. My research conclusively demonstrated that once the soul has fled the body through a spear hole in the throat, or a massive puncture wound through the neck, or even a gaping wound below the chin, above the sternum, there's no use for any body parts -not even a doctor's- save an experimenter's personal sexual gratification.
My next medical discovery was that of doctor's peculiar, fierce aversion to participating in medical research, especially as a subject. I noted an almost allergic reaction on the part of medical professionals when approached -especially with a spear, or spears- to support the advancement of biological science. That's unfortunate. But every obstacle serves to strengthen and focus our commitment to FINDING A CURE to doctors, and so learning of this patho-phobic response to spears, I quickly adopted the blow gun. One impact-injection sodium pentothal dart does it.
What was I saying? Something about Auto Immunity?
