Couple things. First, I move to Europe this fall. Starting end of the summer, I'll be living in Amsterdam for a year and touring Europe, etc. Before I go, I have a few shows left. Hope you come see them. They are listed below.
Second, it's been pointed out to me that I never answer fan mail publicly, or respond to emails in my blog, etc. So, here goes. This week we open the mail bag, and I randomly select one question from a fan, and answer as sincerely as I can.
This comes from Bob, in Schenectady NY. Bob asks: "Dear Stuart, how do you know if you're a Doctor?"
Well Bob, I'm glad you asked. How do you know you're a doctor?
It’s a feeling. You just have a feeling like… no one’s watching. A feeling like you’re going to get away with this. You know what’s great about feelings? They prove things facts can’t. You don’t need a license to tell you what you’re already feeling. You feel… doctorful.
Wake up. A degree won’t make you a doctor any more than medical training can make you a physician. You know you’re a doctor, it’s in the guts. Other people’s guts. You just start operating on other people’s guts, and pretty soon you feel doctorful. Because that’s a doctor’s job. And you’re doing it. It’s not brain surgery. Unless it is. Which is fine. Cuz you’re a doctor.
But even when you feel doctorful, don’t expect everyone to be happy for you. Because they’re sick. Sick with envy. Envy sickness makes people do crazy things. Things like prosecute Doctors for practicing medicine without a license, or convict Doctors of practicing medicine without a license.
You know, it reminds me of something nurses often say; “You’re not a doctor!” But people say lots of things to doctors. Things like, ‘is this part of the examination?’ Feeling like a doctor means you’re probably going to get accused of things you did. Before you know it you end up in jail, where everyone’s a proctologist.
In jail, you reflect, ask yourself the big questions. Like after all I’ve been convicted of, do I still feel like a doctor? No, I don’t I feel like… the best doctor. Because laughter is the best
medicine. That’s what they say. Well, that’s what they say until you tickle the sick with your penis. Then laughter is ‘illegal’, and the law will rip your gift of healing right out of the armpits of the infirm. Then who suffers? The sick. They languish while a throbbing, swollen cure pulses inches away.
It’s funny though, laughter can’t cure everything. That’s why as a doctor, if I don’t know how to help you, I will. I will help you with something that feels medical. A procedure. Or an invasive
procedure. Because, I took an oath; “Do know harm.” And I do. Know harm.
UPCOMING STUART DAVIS SHOWS:
May 31st - Paonia, CO
Jun 1st - Boulder, CO
Jun 8th - Cleveland, OH
Jun 14th - Montreal, QC
Jun 27th - Madison, WI
Jun 28th - Chicago, IL
Jun 29th - Iowa City, IA
Sep 11th - London, UK
Sep 20th - Dublin 2, IR
Sep 21st - Edinburgh, Scotland
Oct 3rd - Berlin, Germany